Breaking News — Over the past several hours North Korea has been experiencing worsening signal strength
on their NK-GOP50-53 Router, which has led some top officials to believe that their cable provider has been throttling data.

        At this point in time, that suspicion has been cast aside now that the red light has appeared on the router’s interface which abruptly terminated internet access on both of North Korea’s computers.  This internet outage has left ten’s of North Koreans without online capability, making it increasingly difficult for them to determine whether or not “The Interview” will be released.  We’ve been able to make contact with an inside source who told us Kim Jong Un was in the middle of accessing “dirtycommunistgirlswhohatetheunitedstates.nk” when all of a sudden the internet froze up just as a video clip was about to finish loading.

It still remains unclear if the United States had any involvement, but the bottom line is that Lil’ Kim Jong Un is furious over the matter.  So far he has directed threats at 72 different countries promising a supreme retaliation if his internet is not “turned back on soon.”  North Korea’s cable provider has said that It is aware of the outage and is currently working to rectify the situation, however, a technician won’t be available until Wednesday between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m.